Fatherhood, Part 1-Be Adaptable

I have no idea how many parts this series will run, or for how long, but I felt like writing about Fatherhood

Hopefully you enjoy this as well

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My son is nearing 1.5 years old now. I never understood why parents describe their children's age in months, then I became one, and you see how fast your child changes from one month to the next.

Not seeing a baby for 2 weeks or more, it's almost a different baby. Every month has its little behavioral quirks and milestones. Your child wont remember any of this, but you will. It becomes part of the deep lore that you will recall when they are an adult.

Everyone has an opinion on how to raise children (most of all, people who dont have any).

My approach to parenting I would equate to my approach to training; All babies are unique in their needs.

Your primary priorities are your child being fed and happy. How exactly you accomplish that, BE ADAPTABLE.

I dont read parenting books. Although I have done a great deal of research on pedagogy (especially childhood pedaogy). Pedagogy=the science and practice of how people learn. Training people effectively requires understanding how people acquire skills and behaviors.

Aside from that, Ive not read any actual parenting books. Have not seen the point.

But I have very strong paternal instincts.

What does that mean?

I was asked that during an AMA. Its a good question.

Paternal (and maternal) instincts are best defined as your attenuation to caring for and recognizing the needs of other people.

Some people are more inclined in this (women and men that grow up taking care of younger siblings). Some are less inclined (I would imagine people that are only children may struggle).

Caring for someone requires a level of conscientious and awareness.

My training career prepared me for being a parent more than anything else.

You spend years listening to people and watching them, and correcting them, and encouraging them, a child is not much different.

Most peoples struggles with parenting are not because they dont love their child

No doubt their are some fathers (and even mothers) who lack the ability to love. Dead beat dads are a real thing.

But such people aside, when I see other parents, and I can see them STRUGGLING, its not a failure of love.

It is communication.

Children are not rational agents. They are agents of chaos. Their needs are primordial. They react in ways that are utterly ridiculous.

Safety, food, closeness. Make it happen, in whatever way works.

Before you ever become a parent, release any and all expectations of how you think your child will be

You also need to assess yourself. Parenting is a day at a time process. There are no rule books. Every child is different. Comparisons and "my child reached XYZ MILESTONES"

Garbage bin all of that.

Its all meaningless. You see peoples egos emerge when they start trying to brag about this stuff "My child knew whole sentences at 11 months old!"

Cool story bro. None of that means anything when they are an adult. And you are raising a future adult human, one that is hopefully autonomous and productive, both individually and societally.

I enjoy the toddler stage immensely. Its magical. I also remind myself my son will be a man for far longer than he is a baby. The baby stage should be the fun stage.

Walkers and Talkers

There is a whole parenting lingo and jargon that you never know existed. One of them is "Walkers and Talkers". Walking usually starts around 12-18 months, sometimes earlier.
Talking starts around 12-18 months, sometimes early

Some children start talking early. Some start walking early. Rarely do both happen together.

My son is a walker. He is very physically strong. He helped me move bricks around the yard the other day. Superb core strength.

He doesnt talk yet, although he is very verbal, constantly baby talking all day. He understands us when we tell him to do things (or not do). He brings me my shoes and socks when I ask him.

He's very contrarian. He laughs whenever we say "NO" and does the opposite of what we told him.

I always laugh. A conformist and rule follower he is not.

Your offspring will share parts of your personality

My son is very demanding, and very impatient. I told him this while he was caterwauling while waiting for a bottle.

"You know, you are not very patient son. You're an impatient little man"

My Dad was in the kitchen at the same time, and started laughing

"and WHERE do you think he gets from?"

I knew this of course. But it was a good multi generational laugh.

How can I Help You?

-I train about 3 days a week, sometimes 4 days. You can train with me on the TrainHeroic app.

-MSP and Push Pull Legs are my premiere PDF based programs. MSP includes a video course and all the wokrouts are done for you.

PPL is for those who want to be autonomous and make their own program.

-My inbox is always open for questions.

Talk again,

Alexander